Gore feast

*Viewers digression is advised
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seeking seeking remastered

Seeking... seeking
Questioning why no help came that bitter dark cold day.
Thinking in utter despair : something must be wrong with me, Why else would they have done this to me?
The time was almost at a halt just for a bare shivering gray spit second where all life around me silenced, the quietness with its harmony grave a deeper into the insanity, memories all witch terrorized the thoughts, poisoned the mind.
An hardly noticeable blood red force-filled utter layer of desire for spine chilling bloodthirsty revenge over my entire body, felling a shacking sensation of the dark raw power of righteous strength lifting my weight like I was god.
Determined of my act despicable by many, but an act of brutal inhuman.. justice.
Hearing a weak but heart warming whispering went ignored if not unnoticed in the cold hearted prideful, selfish, self destructive state of mind.
And it was so strange. So strange, it was I who shouted It has gone to far this time!
All the ice cold pain, blood boiling hate, numbing fear I once had all transferred into this utter blood red layer making me focus at the deed in hand.
Taking slow powerful steps in the cold bitter numbing rain towards his victim, his pray, him who he no longer tolerated to hear his hate related name.
Seeing from distance him, He corrupted in the thoughts of the actions that will take place.
Coming closer and holding a deep hateful death stair locked at him.
The rain, my soaked cloths, bitter cold all this with the constant sound of the grateful invisible ice rain.
So quiet so, thoughts became more and more determent by the second.
And that was all that existed, everything ells were none existence.
Time as it were stopped and then all I saw was a bitter painting, Red thick blood dripping slowly from the barbarically torn off arm sharing the space on the floor with the guts out pulled from the body all in the mess except for the still beating heart witch I held in my hands and I squeezed it until it the heart were cut off in two big flat bloody half's of now unrecognized forms of goo.
The rest of the floor were broken arms, demolish legs, liquids everywhere except under my shoes.
Of the horror that I saw in the vision I saw to much of my sad surprise that I stood there in the room in shock.
It dint took long before I laugh the most reliving joy I ever felt before.
And I laugh and I laugh so hurting much so my knees hit the grounds and I held my self while I laugh.
I could see color, joy, meaning of life, as if all was black before.
Second after I stopped as if this energizing joy never had existed right at the second before.
Looking in panic around me before I took up my cold frozen and blood dripping hands.
Shaking and realizing the world around me.
I took the most hardest, deepest breath I have ever taken.
And with that I went out the broken window and into the dark bitter cold rain and all the evidence were washed away of the harsh rain.
Hearing in the distance the church clock just turning two.
And I stopped in the cold dark emptiness and looked up with tears in my left eye and satisfaction in the other at the church.
Ding...

Looking back

As a young guy I did many things that leads up to where I am today.
As a child I were never popular and my parents taught me that I should not fight I were not allowed to hit back because I don’t always have control over my anger.
So I changed schools about two or three times.
One of the schools in Orebro I meet my first true friend that understood me.
but after just one week I were forced to change back, and then after awhile I got in to Snackan and there the teachers were a bit hard, and not promoted me as a person more like demote me on everything wrong I did, as if I were a dog.
Witch leaded more to anger and despair.
I always wanted to be nice but understood or more correctly I thought that I would only give pain towards others.
So I stood alone.
And I still stand alone.
So fear, hatred and despair drew me to this point.
Was it my fault or the school’s?
I don’t know.
But I did learn one thing.
No matter what you do you always do wrong.
To explain this easily is hard.
I realized something.
Everyone can say what they want because “lack of knowledge lack logic and there for lack reason,,
in retrospective I both want revenge but the same time want to thank them.
Because now I'm neither one of the mindless nor one of the group.
I'm an outsider viewing a bad drama witch I both want to be in but still not.
A simple kiss don’t say anything, a simple hug don’t mean anything, a simple hit don’t do me harm.
But people around me seem to think it does.
So acting as if it’s true is bad, but what would you do?
* I want to cry every day but I smile.
* I want to kill but I say god bless.
* I want to do good but I do nothing.
What is moral?
Or is it just a word to dominate and make people puppets.
And puppets think what they do is right in away.
So the actions that’s were inflict on me were truly wrong.
But also right, if not I were to experience that I would not really know the dark side of people…
So I fear them no more.
Iv acted so long now so I don’t know myself.
Who do I really fear today?

An atheist world.

-This is the most truth in my opinion.-

A much freer world, better perspective of law and order, more choices to be made by the individual people, much less war, better health care, some drugs might become legalized witch lead to less crimes and mafia.

Doesn't it sound wonderful?
But how does religion draw us back from this?
Criminal hide themselves in religion, to easily manipulate people.
Criminals sell often drugs witch are illegal, they have a big profit out of it.
Religionists ignore the facts and science and believe a fairytale instead.

About 63% of Americans ignore the fact.
How do we go forward when people ignore or despise the new true ways that we can prove?

Scenario time! Hurray.

You are in a classroom making a simple test.
And when you are done (you know you have full pot) when you are done anyway you know you are free. But your friend said you shall not use your pen. How do you write to get free?

Harsh but I make a point that religion cause nothing good, or as much good as the friend did..

some question how can you have freedom ad power over the people?

Stupid question... they do it whether or not they can or cannot. Everyday you see advertise on TV.
Have you notice the difference between when they want a man to buy something and when they want a woman to buy something?

Quite sexist.. if it is a product for a man they show often some sexy girl that want a guy and that guy have that product.. hmm or that “man products” they have mostly lots of info text and all detail's.
But the products of womans its a light text mostly pink and #OHH how pretty! I love it..#
you know..

you are fuck anyway!

This will not change. At least I doubt it..

to the last words of this..
will an atheist world the key of problem free world?

Hell no! We will only solve some problems BUT others will follow..
What problems can we get?
Lack of idiots? I don't know and I doubt that will lack of idiots.. by the way. How boring world it would be without idiots and crazy people, I love them all. Not idiots that think they are something no.. just crazy people they are themselves *haha.

“We are not one without the other.”

until next time over and out!

//pe3er

Really doomed to repeat it?

”Tho who ignore history are doomed to repeat it” What do you think they mean?
Are we all the same?
Would we do the exact same thing?
Could not what so ever we could make a difference, even if we were there instead of them?

Or is the outcome the same as “fate?”

what would you have done if you were Hitler?
People screaming for money, jobs, a new world.
You are blinded to your own fantasy.
Killing, Conquer, Lies and Persuading if that were your only strong points as Hitlers would you do as he did? With or without knowing the consequence?

But what good did he do?
Despite all there is some good in this..
He did what the people wanted, job, food, money.
We learned that by looking short therms actions isn't always the best ones.
We also learned that in the time of need it is easier to lead.
We learned from his mistakes. There for we became grater.

Over and out //pe3er

Peoples safety in hatred

If you can take the easy way out in life as not blame yourself of your own mistakes.
If you just easily just say its them that did this to me.

And war is so near to this so you can easily say people are willingly to fight other if they believe that it will help themselves.
As you may know anyone will do anything to survive: steal, hurt and sometimes kill just to survive.

A scenario might help.
You are in an unknown place all you know is that there is only one escape.
You suddenly hear, “cut of one finger of that man and I will spare him, if you dont do it ill kill him then cut a finger from you,,

anyway you do it you inflict pain direct or indirect.
Did you cause it?

Or a much clearer scenario..
you are poor, sick and hungry.
You see food in sight and think the poor can steal if it is the only way to survive.

But the one that did the food need money to feed the family..
who is the evil one?

But to the point. people hate others especially if they think that it will solve there own problems..

just read history with the witch hunters, Hitler, usa (the OIL PROBLEM).. with more..

question...
why is it harder to love then hate if both are so strong emotions?

"Evil is the cause of all good"

The Meaning Behind Nightmares 1-2

1.
I had a nightmare, I was having sex with a beautiful girl.
After that she were horribly ugly, as if her whole body had rotten and mold were everywhere.
Her face were the worst of the all, it was as if some had had used a old knife and cut deep. And have got an infection. You know where its going to..

so first I woke up and try to understand why.
I only found this answer: that I must chose someone bast on good personality not looks.
As if that were any news for me...
I think its a fear, perhaps.
But I don't say that you must do this, but think about it.
Use your heart and your brain not your eyes or your image of how someone should look like for this matter.

2.
I thought it was real by the time. But it were just a other nightmare.
It were kinda true, all started with balance, no good no bad.
Then the bad and evil started making that off balance.
But slowly the good started to grow slowly.
Trying to get balance.
So if that was true then the good is the cause of evil?
And evil cause of good?
But if we all were neutral from the beginning, the we might have balance in that.
But I doubt that..
you might be on the bad side trying to do good or in the good side trying to do bad things.

I think thats is why we have the world we have. We Need The Bad Ones.
Like if we feed on it, but if we took all bad would the world be a better place?
Or is everything for a cause, for a reason.

The thing that made me quite scared were that I accepted my own death for some one who just didn't think twice. And I personally don't care that we give the murder jail time..
well only if it saves life's. But otherwise.
I might be the reason that the life is what is right now.
If not I cant change the world anyway.

The truth part that I see is that evil is always quick and good is always slow and quite weak.
I might be wrong but its a fun fought. Hehe

over and out! Pe3er

Accept the difference and become the ONE

I will start simple we all know what acceptation is, right?
Its a hard word to explain, really but I assume that you know what it is i'm talking about.

We have to day many groups of people, sorted out by the smallest detail.
And often people say stay way from other people, because they fear the worst.
But were is the fun or learning of just stay way from new people new ways?
We have a fear of new ways. Despite that we have the world in our own hands.

These things may be rituals, religion, love, food and so on...
almost everyone knows that life is a just a risk and luck.
To understand me fully is to say we all have choice and we all take chances.
And all you to do to avoid it is simply lock yourself some ware and wait until death...

we live to learn from mistakes, and moving forward.
But some are ignorant and cant learn from mistakes and takes his/hers life away

to the subject again how to become the one.
Its quite easy, its just to accept everything and deal with it.
But must understand that there is no laws no religion, just bad and good act.
Here is an example:
“You see your enemy in a bad place, he is going to die if not you help him.
You know also that your enemy haven't done anything bad.
You see also there is two persons that is kicking him.”
what do you do?
A) save him. Despite all
B) let him have it, because he is your enemy
C) just watch him suffer but in last second you save him.
D) walk away, you don't want to get hurt, and you know you wouldn't get any reward anyway..

so what do you choose?
You might think playing hero will always do you good.
But the answer you must think out for your self.
Only you know if you are accepting everything and dealing with it.

What differences does it make to accepting everything?
Not much more then you understand more.

But to truly be the one ant just saying “Hey I accept that we all are diffident,,
it is to make difference in the world to the better, despite that fact we are different..

next time you see some one that are down on his/hers luck help if you can, and try to imagination #if I were in that position what would I do?#

but dont be an idiot just try to make changes.
Dont give what you dont have.
Be free but dont make life as a hell against others.. accept the fact and become the one

over and out! //pe3er

Psychology - The basic understanding

Were to start? How to begin?
We do things all the time, and somewhat trying to manipulate people.
Like chess you did a move and you think he/she will do that move.
Simple yes but it can fail, because we all are different.
But to unlock that we must be understanding and learn to know when and how.
We all expect something always from some one or something in near future.

Why are some people really nice another playing nice?
Some seek to use people to there advantage.
And others seek people just for knowing they will give a helping hand in need.
You may think not.
But if we say purely hypothetical that we a company. The owners (you) have a product we say.. a robot that do anything from taking care of babes to drive cars (and so on), would they(you) A give it for free, Or B charge it so only the riches people can buy it.
Further more we say they(you) can do this robot more easier and cheaper but they last shorter.
Would they A do the product slower and better, Or B faster and cheaper.
If you answered A then I ask who would they(you) continue to do the product with no money and what do you think the outcome would be after a while?


Me my self I like strange things, strange ways, strange--- you understand...
because its another way another possibility.

How you react leads to action witch leads to possibility/effect and over again (maybe defect) but lastly responsibility.
Test if this is true,
you get shot in your hand. (how you react=) you get mad and you have pain there for you scream,
(possibility) maybe some one hears that and help you/ (effect) some one maybe hear that but walk away.
You bleed terribly (how you react=) but you save your strength and walk to a hospital.
End you took didn't just sit and cry you took responsibility for your life there for you made it.
But this is still basic. Much more to it then that.

Think if you were strange in your ways.# you get shot in your hand. (how you react=) you start to laugh, (possibility) maybe think it just were kids playing with guns, maybe that person comes./(effect)
maybe you will be ignored..
You bleed terribly (how you react=) but you go in to a store and buy a beer as nothing is wrong.
(effect) they maybe help you to a hospital..
end---
but im not saying strange is dumb no..
it maybe free your mind and think more then you did before.
Accepting everything, and think twice before doing anything.


We “normal” people often ignore the strange sides..
its inappropriate..
or something as dumb as that..
but still its the new thinking or outside the box thinking that have driven us as far that we are to day, technology is everywhere.

I have no more to say.
Over and out //pe3er